I still can't believe I'm pregnant by a man I don't want to be with. How dumb could I be? And the worst part is he swears he's in love with me. If I'm being totally honest I've been avoiding him for the past 7 days. I've been the one doing all the lying this time. Telling him I have the flu and staying at my parents so he won't try to come down and take care of me. Yesterday I texted him back and told him I lost my voice while I'm in my bedroom screaming during March Madness, and playing along to Don't Forget The Lyrics.
I kinda can't wait to see how the next two years of my life is going to turn out. I have absolutely no clue what-so-ever. Maybe I'll grow to love him but I don't think so. I can't have a decent conversation with him. All he talks about is how much he misses me, how much he loves me. I want to talk about something else. Make me laugh for crying out loud! I find myself talking to Renzo more on the phone. We are really good friends and we always had good conversations. I just miss good conversation. Yesterday while walking Beavis this cute guy got out of his car to talk to me. I swear we talked for about 30 minutes and I enjoyed it. He ended up giving me his number and saying our first date would be going out bowling. I just laughed and thought to myself "If you only knew". I don't know if I'm going to call him or not. He was funny and kinda cute, very down to earth. I might call him but I'm sure it will only be one conversation that goes a little like this, "It was really nice meeting you the other day, by the way I'm two months pregnant and the father is still around. So we can't go bowling but how's dinner? I sure could go for some pickles and ice cream." Yeah I can just see him begging for a second date. I'm not looking for anything romantic but it would be nice just to have a new platonic friend.
I have more important things to worry about besides men. To my surprise I'm not depressed by my situation. I think I'm taking all this very well and for the most part I'm still pretty happy with my life. Well Tuesday I went threw one of my spells. I don't know what happened but I was really down on Monday...don't know the cause. Then on Tuesday I couldn't get out of bed, called off work and stayed in my bed without so much as washing my ass. I ended up calling Toni to ask if she can come over after work. I knew if I stayed home alone I would remain in my bed for the rest of the day and maybe the next feeling sorry for myself. Of course she agreed and it worked. I got up, took a shower, went to the store, cleaned up a little and cooked dinner. By the time she got there I was a much better person then I was that morning and was very grateful to her.( Kris and Neka I know you guys would have came if I called but she lives the closest.) Again thank you Toni for being there when I really needed a friend....Luv Ya! We chilled, ate, and watched Goodfellas. After she left Beavis and I went to bed and I was in better spirits when I woke up the next morning. I just needed a mental health day 
.
Thanks! 
When you need a mental health day, TAKE ONE! There's no sense in causing yourself (or the baby) any undue stress. And don't worry about getting pregnant by someone you don't want to be with. I'm sure there are TONS of people who can relate (ME for instance!!). And you see how quick I kicked them to the curb as soon as the baby popped out! The babies weren't even off the BOOB before I was trying to find another man! (I'm such a whore!) But that's just reality. I know it's probably not what you invisioned, but life tends to throw some curveballs. Luckily, you've got a very good support system in your family and all your friends (especially me!). You know we'll all be there for you. 
LOL...Your always good to give me a good laugh. Thanks. Sometimes my conceited side comes out because I'm thinking...so what I'm knocked up. I still won't have a problem getting a man. Shit...I've been turning more heads since I've been pregnant. Maybe that glow stuff is for real. But that's not what I want right now. 
Remember to massage the baby everyday when it is born. This increases IQ. 
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