Okay by far this weekend was really bad for me. I don't really feel like talking about it but I'm gonna. Let's start off with my boyfriend having another woman who claimed to be his girlfriend fighting him in the middle of the street in front of his house.

Okay Robert and I was suppose to spend the weekend together. Like I've been telling you guys I've been feeling closer to him lately and I was looking forward to it. I go to pick him up and he's not home. I'm mad because I told him I was 45 minutes away so he should have been there. I wait a few minutes and he comes home. He rushes me to pull off and then some girl cuts me off with her car and he's telling me to back up cause it's his ex-wife and she has a gun. Instead I put the car in park because I am not doing no car chase in the middle of B-more. Two girls jump out the car and I'm very calm but they bypass me and go to the passenger side. He jumps out and the girl starts yelling at him and then she starts swinging at him. I'm chilling just kinda watching the whole thing take place. Then the friend moves the car out the middle of the street and I pull my car over and park. I slowing get out and walk over to the three of them and asked "what the fuck is going on?". I was ready to throw down if I had to, pregnant or not I don't run from no damn body. Both girls run over to me, looking very young I might add. Supposedly this girl is his girlfriend and he was with her for the most of the day. While she talking to me I can barely understand her because she was so hysterical. Robert dumb ass by my car talking about, "Tiffany you ready to go, am I going with you?". I tell him no because he just told me the chick was his ex-wife and here she was thinking I was the ex-wife. I tell him to get his bag out the trunk and I was going back home. The whole ride back to DC I wasn't even sad or anything. Remember I thought his ass was doing dirt but just couldn't prove it.  I was rather quite calm considering I'm carrying his child. I wasn't crying or shaking or I didn't have those flutters in my stomach. He kept calling me and calling me begging me to turn around and come back. I went home and went to sleep instead. The next day I was able to talk about it a little. I told a couple of friends. The ones I knew who could relate and wouldn't throw it in my face later. I admitted to them that I was upset and there was a big chance that I may take him back because for some strange reason I didn't really care. I don't know if I didn't care is the right word to use but I wasn't really tripping. I know I'm dating a compulsive lair. I felt this coming. I knew he was doing dirt and I knew I would find out about it. I really know I had God in my corner then because I was so calm threw the whole ordeal. But like I said I knew I would take him back and normally I never forgive a cheater. That's why I stayed single so much. As soon as dude fuck up...I'm out.

The next day I knew some of my co-workers and a few of my friends were going to be at Safeway Battle of the BBQ. I needed some fresh air and since my plans made a complete U-Turn I decided to check it out. Robert was calling me the whole day and I may have answered the phone once. Problem was I still wanted to see him, I don't know why but I had to let him know how wrong he was. I told him time and time again that if he wanted to see other people let me know. I was cool with it because I told him I didn't love him anyway. I had a nice time at the BBQ on Saturday. I was happy for the outdoors even though it was hot as shit.

When I got home I showered and laid down. I talked to Kandi a lot and was happy to hear her say what a few other of my friends said, if you take him back it's nothing wrong with it. We all go threw this. That's way I didn't really want to tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to judge me or look at me like I was stupid when I was with him again. Jada telling me it was okay to cry, but at the time I didn't want to cry still don't. I was really fine but I wanted him to console me. What sense does that make? I wanted the one that hurt me to console me. I wanted him to beg to come see me on Saturday. The sadness was just starting to hit me. I knew the next time he called and said he was coming down I would allow him to. He called around 8pm and said he needed to see me. I told him whatever. I picked him up from train station by my house and told him before we pulled off, "This by no means means I forgive you and we are currently broke up. You fucked up and you remember that while your here, and don't touch me. After I pull off I don't want to talk about what happened unless I bring it up. Your just here for my emotional support so I won't be alone. Our shit is on pause right now". I pulled off and we went to my apartment. He wanted to know if my parents knew and I told him no and I don't plan on telling them. He was very thankful for that. They think so highly of him and I didn't want to be the one to burst their bubble.

I don't remember much else but we were being cordial to each other. He was walking on egg shells but I was feeling pretty good. I forgot everything that happened the night before. He asked if he had to sleep on the couch I told him no he could sleep in the bed but just don't touch me. Before going to sleep he apologized for putting me threw that. Explained to me that he was "kinda seeing" the girl. They use to work together but she got upset because he broke things off with her. He swears that he has never slept with her (which I don't believe). Told me how much he loved me and didn't want to lose me. I just said okay and went to bed. I did appreciate the apology because I did need to hear it. Not saying I believe what he told me but it's easier to just accept it and move on.

The next day I ended up having a anxiety attack. I think just too much was going on at once. I had my problems, all of my friends had problems and everything was coming at me at one time. My phone kept ringing and he answered it once in the middle of my attach and told whoever it was that I would have to call them back and then he turned my ringers off. I just flipped out because I couldn't find Beavis leash. I couldn't breath and Robert had to put me in the shower while I still had clothes on to calm me down. He wanted to take me to the hospital but I refused. I wanted my meds so bad but I took one the day before without anyone knowing and I didn't wanna risk taking another one. After my cold shower with my hair looking a complete mess He, I and the dog went for a walk. I had on sweat pants, a dress shirt, and flip flops. I looked like a phsyc patient and didn't even care. Then we went to the playground and he rode the sea-saw with me. I was out of it. When I got home and was feeling a little better I realized my mom had called along with a few other people. I called my mom back and she was on her way over. She was the one who called when Robert picked up the phone and she thought he did something to me and was on her way over....LOL. I love that woman. I assured her all was fine and that I was just in the shower and he didn't know it was her, which he didn't. He took care of me for the rest of the evening and I woke up this morning feeling a lot better and made it to work.

I don't know what's to come of us. My friends gave me good advice. Don't tell a lot of people because they will just throw it in my face later. I've said that to them in the past also. Only about 4 of my friends have access to my blog so that's all that will know this ever took place. Strangely I feel this has brought us closer. I can't explain it. I catch him cheating on me and I feel fine. We talked about it. We're still not a couple, even though he says he's not letting me go, and we have not had sex. I'm not ready for that yet. I did tell him I don't believe he didn't sleep with that girl so for the sake of myself and our unborn child if we do have sex again he will have to wear a condom and I want him to get tested. His grandmother called me last night to check on me. I thought that was nice. She knows what went down between me, him and the other girl. She was there. I'm just glad it's over. What a fucken weekend!